My friend Margaret sent me two examples of faulty writing on signs. I want to share them to help office managers and others who make signs for visiting customers.
Read the two notices below, and see if you recognize the problem they share.
- In a doctor’s office: “In order to better serve you, please turn off your cell phone during your visit with us today.”
- In a credit union: “For security reasons, please remove sunglasses, helmets, and hoods to better serve you.”
The problem is the phrase “to better serve you.” The phrase is not connected properly to the main sentence. It dangles there, worrying readers–especially English teachers and copyeditors.
In Example 1, the phrase “In order to better serve you” does not have a subject. Who wants to “better serve you”? Because the phrase lacks a subject, readers expect the subject to come immediately after the phrase, as in “In order to better serve you, we . .
Tags: Make Signs, Signs
Caleb Mort • 
12:22 am • 
